I realised one thing about ‘men’. If they have to tear you down first so you talk to them or even give them the time of day they are not worth two cents.
Take this for example :
My friend Bibi and I went to a nice little cozy hotel a few days back. I ordered ugali & mix(veggies, beef and soup),she had chapati and beans.
The table was meant for four but only two of us sat there eating and chatting once in a while-we do have table manners .
So this two skinny scrumpy guys (i have nothing against skinny guys but those two were not in anyway eye catching-although beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder) in those pants that don’t touch their ankles sat on the empty seats with their food. It was not of our concern whether they sat or not so we did not bother with them.
As we all know Ugali is best eaten with a bare hands. Eating ugali is an art. There I was moulding my white ugali into a ball before scooping my stew .
One of them said something that I did not get as I was not paying attention. Next thing I know the guy is asking me whether I speak English or kiswahili because I had not heard his prior statement . He asked in a way that makes you want to lash back . I did not get the point of it aso I simply said ‘sema? ‘
Which is a simple way of saying ‘how may I help you ‘in swahili. He begun asking his pal what language I spoke at this point I was irritated as I had come to eat peacefully and not be disturbed by some one who did not know how to approach a girl sensibly(maybe he was a pro at it but it was not working).
I repeated ‘sema’ again when he asked the question twice and glared at him. He was trying to rile me up by asking the same question thrice mockingly as he nudged his pal. I did not respond other than my controlled ‘sema’ .Trying to get him to say whatever was bugging him or simply shut him up.
He left me in peace. Minutes later -as it happens with ugali -my stew finished and I was left with huge piece of ugali(although the ratio of the two was a bit unfair) Bibi was not done hence we made idle conversation .She simply ignored them.
The guy said and a I quote
Don’t worry tunaeza kula hii yangu na wewe
While nudging his pal I guess to give him a boost. I said ‘no thank you’ and instead of the guy minding his own bizwax or at least introducing himself as a proper human he continued chiding us. Stating that today he would pay a visit to ‘newmark’. Which happens to be a hostel we lived in.
I did not get how this was of our concern as they said it aiming at us. I bet in their tiny heads they thought the fact that they did visit the place which has numerous rooms for your information would make them seem cooler??
It did not -in fact it made them look like the creepy little’f*ckboys who are popping up everywhere like mushrooms. Neither of us bothered to interact farther with the shallow boys. Speaking clearly to his pal the guy stated with a mouthfull of cabbage and eggs (I hate cabbage) .
Wacha asimame tuone akona nini ya kuoffer???
Translation *let her stand we see what she has to offer.
You do remember me narrating to you the problems of being tiny in Africa right?? I understood perfectly what he was reffering to-as this mushroom like species have a similar goal .Which is to chase ass then later pass you over to the next mushroom that showed interest.
I felt offended not because of the issues I had prior to the encounter but because I wondered??? What does he have to effer himself???
After all -I did not want him… I did not approach him… I did not reciprocate his pathetic attempts at a conversation .I just wanted to finish our meals- buy fruit juice and head back to watching ‘Once upon a time’.
I realised it was simply a technique most puny men have adopted.
They bring you down- incite their pals about you while at hearing distance to make you feel unwanted so that when they did finally approach you. You would look past the shallowness of them and believe that they truly did like you and were honest blokes for looking past the shallowness of their ‘squad’.
As I said before mothers or whomever did do a great injustice when they told young girls that when a boy picked on you at the playground it meant that they liked you. Does that not cultivate the belief that when the man in your life raises his hands at you or abuses you mentally it is simply a show of his love for you??
It does not work that way. If he tries to tear you down know he is not worth your time.
I walked out of that hotel happy that I had something to write about and also that I had added a new feature to my never to date guys list, that is my deal breakers.
Ooh and the fact that we could get back to watching Rumplestilskins screw everyone over.