SAVAGE MONKEYS OF MASENO

It is such a beautiful day to be back. After taking a wonderful, long and colourful creativity retreat, I feel like a new fish-fish are new favourite, mostly because I have never met a live fish other than the ones I eat at ‘Nyorimba’ they are usually pretty dead by then . In fact it is such a beautiful day that I decided to take a walk through nature-grass, kiosks, take selfies with my big sister-Jojo. As usual I bought ‘chipo mwitu’ on my way back to my room. How sweet they were, crunchy with excess diluted sauce and a dash of chilli. Ooh how wonderful today. I jinxed it.

One of them approached us, the bravest of them all, coming at you like those kids outside Creamy Inn Nairobi (you can never drink your milkshake in peace) slowly aiming to grab my bag of delicious fries. Screaming, I ran, two of them blocked my way (it was an ambush!) *sobs.

Jojo shouted “zitupie moja zikuachane!”

I- in my fear that they would scratch my feet and bite me (I was shaking too much to just throw one)I threw the whole bag, the innocent cries of my very naked and sauce dipped fries filled the air as they fell to the ground with a splash of red, only to be massacred by the savage monkeys of Maseno .The many lives I sacrificed to the tiny furry and no longer cute mammals. Whomever said monkeys are not intelligent, I am sorry to inform you that the ones here have evolved. They had calculated their attack strategy.

My run-ins with wildlife are not limited to monkeys, just last week I was munching on a warm ‘smokie’ with ‘kachumbari’ , laced with sauce just outside the gate when a hawk or eagle? Swooped in and attempted to snatch it. I fortunately dogged it and run into the school somehow believing that they would not dare try steal within the school! Who wants to face the wrath of fellow comrades? Note: pun is intended. The level of stupidity illustrated above was not my intention, I am normally very smart… well most of the time.

The horrid bird flew in a second time grabbing the ‘smokie’ and pouring the three chips I had convinced the vender to add just for being a loyal customer. I let out a shrill of terror, those in the field nearby stared at me in hidden laughter as I stood there hand mid-air in eyes wide with shock. Can one get rabies from a bird? One of its talons tore into my hand, I did put up a fight the scratch on my right hand is a battle mark. I can still hear the screams of my ‘smokie’ as it flew away crying my name, hands outstretched towards the god-me #SAUSAGE PARTY and the 25 shillings I lost to a bird. Is the universe yelling at me to stop eating “mwitu”? I am not sure but one thing is for sure my battles with nature have just begun. I will not give up on ‘mwitu’ that easily. Till next time (which is sooner than you think) good bye.

Love monshi

 

 

 

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